


Floral Apocalypse

by Chuarouli, crimsonfamily, La_Emmy_Ollandese, MabelLover



Category: Layton Kyouju Series | Professor Layton Series
Genre: Black magic/necromancy, Buff - Freeform, Dutch/Hell, Gen, Heelies or heelys, Picking Flowers, Pie, Swearing, The Apocalypse, crackfic, flora has super powers, space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-07-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:36:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25108600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chuarouli/pseuds/Chuarouli, https://archiveofourown.org/users/crimsonfamily/pseuds/crimsonfamily, https://archiveofourown.org/users/La_Emmy_Ollandese/pseuds/La_Emmy_Ollandese, https://archiveofourown.org/users/MabelLover/pseuds/MabelLover
Summary: layton doesn't go to the park with Flora. In the meantime, Moby decides to pick flowers. The consequences are dire...
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	Floral Apocalypse

**Author's Note:**

> Authors: Mabellover, Anonymous, Chuarouli,Crimsonfamily, Kyoukalay, Timegears, Yoloman Owner of Yolos and La Emmy Olandese.

It was a sunny day in London and Layton was sitting in his office working away three whole piles of papers that still needed grading when Flora walked in. 

“Professah?”

“Yes dear?”

“You promised you would go to the park with me to pick flowers, but it has been four whole weeks since you promised me.”

‘’Oh dear, has it already been four weeks?’’ the professor asked while scratching the back of his head, a little embarrassed by his usual tardiness.

Flora simply held up her empty basket, wordlessly insisting on their arrangement. Layton sighed and got up from his desk, mentally promising himself to try and remember to clean up the office when he came back. He looked around his office and found that he couldn’t make any distinction anymore between the shards of ancient roman vases and the teacups that he had allowed to slip out of his hands when he fell asleep on the sofa. It may have been a good thing that Rosa has been bedridden after slipping on Luke’s roller skates as she would get a fit if she saw the state of his office. Perhaps it wasn’t such a bad idea to go with Flora, he still owed Rosa an apology for the incident after all.

Except…

“Say these roller skates remind me of a puzzle. Care to hear it, Flora?”

Flora, in fact, did not care to hear about yet another puzzle. She was sick of Layton constantly getting sidetracked by puzzles. It was almost as tiresome as constantly getting left behind.

“Professor Hershel Obama Layton, I have been waiting four weeks to go to the park. I do not care to hear a puzzle that will delay my going to the park any longer.”

But Professor Hershel Obama Layton was already delving into the puzzle. And it was a sliding block puzzle, of course. With two parts.

Flora just huffed and walked out of the house. Fine, she’d just go to the park herself.

Along the way she met a very buff leg.

“I am Olson,” said the leg. “I can tell by looking at you that you want to chat with me about something.” 

Flora wanted to go to the park, so she just ignored him and walked past. 

But Olson wanted to chat, so he hopped behind Flora, who was already too mad with Layton to tolerate a fucking leg's shenanigans. She grabbed him by the foot and yeeted him to the sun.

She was nearly to the park when suddenly an excessively friendly man in a mullet and pink suit popped out from behind a hidden puzzle.

“I am Aldus!” he shouted in an excessively loud voice. “Allow me to give you a tutorial on hint coins!”

And then a short man in a ‘stache and scarf appeared too.

“No! I am the hint coin tutorial man! Allow me to demonstrate to this young lady about hint coins!”

“No I’m the hint coin man!!”

“I was first!!”

“No I was first!!””

“I was the hint coin man in the first published Layton game!”

“Well I was the hint coin man in the first chronological Layton game!”

Aldus and Stachenscarfen started fighting. Which was mostly flailing their arms at each other.

But Flora was already well versed with hint coins, having lived in a village filled with hidden puzzles and hint coins, and besides she was very annoyed.

So she yeeted both of them to the sun.

After that interruption, finally Flora got to the park. She sat down in the grass and started picking flowers when suddenly it got dark as in a solar eclipse.

Her first thought was that she may have accidentally broken the sun by yeeting several people into it.

“Oh dear, maybe I shouldn’t have yeeted people into the sun. Now it will be a permanent solar eclipse.”

But it just turned out that a gigantic machine was walking by and thus temporarily blocking the sun.

The machine was in fact the Mobile Fortress (also known as Moby), and had in fact come to the park to pick flowers just like Flora.

So Moby started picking flowers. Except that 1) They were in fact picking trees, and 2) Because they were essentially a weapon of mass destruction, complete with spiked feet and way too many cannons, they were causing a lot of collateral damage in the process.

So long story short, Moby accidentally caused the apocalypse.

Meanwhile, back in Professor Hershel Obama Layton’s office, while Luke fixed some tea elsewhere for the millionth time that day…

“...And this sliding puzzle can be solved in as little as 37 moves, although it will in all likelihood take you 5,456,382,780 moves,” Layton concluded.

It was at this point that he finally realized he had spent the last several minutes talking to a wall. Or possibly the assorted piles of junk on the floor.

“Oh dear, Flora appears to have vanished, again. Oh well, it’s not like she could have been kidnapped for the third time. In the meantime, I’ll solve this puzzle myself, because that is what a good father would do in this situation.”

So he did.

Suddenly the door flew off its hinges and in stepped Randall (sometimes Randle) Asscot.

“Hello Lameton!!” yelled Randall. “I decided to come visit today!!” then he noticed the roller skates. “Oh look, heelies!!”

“Randle my himboji no!” warned Playton, fearing yet another accident that would leave Randle presumed dead and amnesiac for 18 years.

But it was too late, for Randal had already grabbed the roller skates/heelies and put them on.

“Whee!!” he yelled as the rollarskated/heelied around the office. 5 seconds later, he crashed into the wall. “Ow!!” he said. And began bleeding out carrots.

"NO RANDAL THE SKATES!!" Yelled Herschel Leyton.

Randall hit his head once again when the floor shook once more, and began speaking in Hell's language, also known as Dutch.

“POTJANDRIEDUBBELTJESVERDULLEMEKAKKOLEREKLOTEKONTKUT!”

This was fortunate, because Hell/Dutch was also the language of demonic incantations, and as Luke (who was in Layton’s office now btw) had managed to accidentally die in the 5 seconds that randle was on hellys, the incantation served to bring him back to life.

Except with horns. And a tendency for maniacal laughter.

"Dear Buff Layton, what did the Goddess Mabel do to Luke?" asked the Professah, horrified.

Unfortunately, Herschel didn't have enough time to ponder on this thought, for his office's wall was suddenly ripped apart by some mysterious claw. 

“What’s THAT ProfessAH?!” yelled Luke/the demon spawn formerly known as Luke.

They ran outside (except for Randhelllll who heelied/roller-skated) and noticed it was now the apocalypse.

“Oh no it’s the acopalypse” yelled Randel before he crashed into a wall again and bled out corn this time.

Hershell decided to steal the hellys while Randlel was unconscious before he could hurt himself a third time.

But Luke noticed the heelies.

“NO PROFESSAHH I WANT TEH HELLIES!!” yelled Luke. His eyes were glowing red.

“No Luke! You are my apprentice! I will not have you injured on the heelies which are actually rollar skates! Besides, I want to wear them myself.”

So Professah Hershey Omaha Leyten put on the hellys. “Whee!!” he said as he heelied through the apocalypse. Also an ice rink that was there. “I’m Layton on ice!!!”

But the ice started to melt. It was Luke's demonic energy! He was making everything too hot and now it was impossible to heyly on the ice!

Randle was feeling heroic, so he covered his corn wound with ripped cloth from his ascot and started to chant in Dutch.

“Men neme vier appels en snijdt deze in blokjes, dan verwarmt men de oven voor op honderdtachtig graden...”

"Wait, what?" Screamed Luke. "No, NO, NOOOOOOOOOOO-"

A bright light surrounded Luke, cutting him off before he could finish his scream. The light enveloped his form, and then grew bigger, and bigger, and bigger, and bigger-

"The ice is coming back!" Shouted Herschey from the frozen lake, now trying his hardest to stay afloat while the ice that was forming around him slowly paralized his arms. "KEEP GOING!"

Randallus continued his chant and the light finally disappeared.

"Wait," asked Staschenscarfen, recently returned from the sun, "where's Luke?"

Indeed, there was nothing on the floor but a still hot apple pie.

And then a gigantic foot crushed Staschenscarfenstach&scarfman.

"Oh!" Said the Professor. "It seems that we've forgotten about the apocalypse. Gosh, I hope we haven't forgotten anything else!"

In the park, Flora sneezed.

Finishing the book she had taken from the mess Professor Layton still dared to call his desk, the girl used her strong yet delicate hands to close it and put it back on the grass, where it was absorbed by the earth with a slurping sound, before turning her gaze to Moby. The gigantic fortress continued to pluck trees nonchalantly from the ground, seemingly happy to ignore the absolute chaos and destruction going on around them as she did. She stood there and gazed up at moby, her glare hard as stone, it seemed as if minutes had passed since she had just put down the book. Finally, she spoke.  
"What the fuck is up Moby? No, what did you do? Step on 20 people so far and destroy the park’s ecosystem by plucking each tree? What the FUCK dude? Step the fuck up Moby"  
“Look, even I can do it better ! Watch and learn, wanker..” 

And with that she stretched and flexed her muscles, the upper part of her dress ripping up instantly, before jumping on the nearest group of passersby like a rabid dog.

Then she used one person as a croquet bat to yeet the rest of the passersbies into the sun. 

Meanwhile Moby was sad about accidentally destroying the ecosystem, which meant no more pretty flowers would grow. Also being called a wanker, although they didn’t know what that even was. 

Wait a minute, since when did giant death machines feel emotions? Something was up, there must be something they were missing here. Were they really a true mobile fortress? If they felt these sentiments so long thought to be unknown to machines?

Whilst Moby was having an identity crisis, Obama Gayton noticed a freshly baked, hot apple pie. He, somehow now free from the grip of the ice that had frozen over his arms, ran toward it and picked it up.

“Pie!!” he yelled. He loved pie almost as much as he loved puzzles. In fact, the pie was shaped like a puzzle! And Luke!

"Wait a minute!" He exclaimed, "This hot apple pie is looking awfully like a Luke, who baked a Luke into my pie???".

“I turned him into a pie with my Hell/Deutsch, remember?’ called Randlell, who was now conscious by the same convenient force that had freed Layton from the ice. “And how can it be both a Luke and a puzzle at teh same time????”

“Ah, this conundrum reminds me of a puzzle!” Said Leyton and he forgot about eating the pie. Which was good, because it was really Luke and all.

“Also there’s still an apocalypse we should probably do something about it” added randel.

“Yeah!” Flora yelled from all the way at the park, where she was bench pressing several hundred pounds of uprooted dirt. “I had to do everything myself! But luckily it made up for all those times you completely neglected me and refused to let me participate in the plot!!!”

“””””””Plot’””””””””

"Listen Flora, I'm very sorry you didn't get much plot significance, BUT you did get kidnapped twice. See! You still get to be part of the story :)))))"  
It was then that Lego Man was met with a large clump of earth hitting him in the face at around 60 mph. (That is 96 km/h for you Continental twits)

“Ouch” said Layton just before he died.  
"F" said Randle  
"F indeed." said Luke Puzzle Pie.

"HAHA TAKE THAT OHAMA LEYTON!!!!" Yelled Flora, before uprooting another several pounds of dirt and Lukepie and throwing them to Moby, who was still in the middle of their identity crisis.

Randellus Ass fainted from the shock, and Layton's corpse screamed like a bitch.

“Cor, Blimey” exclaimed Luke Puzzle Pie as he was carried away by some hungry ants. “Oi, put me down!”

But the ants didn't put him down. Instead, tjey carried him obediently towards their Mistress, Flora, who picked Lukepie with a satisfied smirk on her face and sniffed him like cocaine before regurgitating some apples for the hungry ants to take with them.

A bit of Luke Puzzle Pie was still conscious, though, and he shrivelled up like the skin of an old lady while weakly cursing in Dutch.

The Hell's language ressuscitated Herschey, who T-posed out of the ground with glowing red eyes of DOOM.

"LUKE MY BOY WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE SAYING!!!!" He screamed, occupying every inch of everyone's ear canal with his booming voice.

Laytob pointed his finger dramatically at the Lukepie in Flora's hand and shot a ray of red light.

"So you've awoken!? Well," shouted Flower, her own eyes glowing, "don't think for a moment that I'll LET YOU DO THIS, HYAHHH!!!!"

Flor also shot a ray of light from her finger, but this one was blue.

The rays collided, but none gave up. They kept growing and growing and then….

BOOM!!!

The world exploded! Everyone in London was now floating in space, dead.

Except for Luke Puzzle Pie and Moby, who, being a pie and a machine, didn't need to breathe, although admittedly maybe the pressure or the explosion might have obliterated them.

THE END!! (until the sequal)

**Author's Note:**

> A server's communal attempt on Drownout2020


End file.
